These are our two favourites from this week’s five-minute flash fiction writing exercise, including the words: aubergine, reflect, batter, filthy, crumple.
Give Her The Boot
She is standing there, barring my path. I know what she’s after. Every female on the estate has been eyeing the aubergine-coloured boots in the local charity shop. A tenner is all that they cost, which is a bargain since they are made by Mr Choo. My Dad, a bit of a guru, always told my brother and me to reflect what comes towards us, in other words not to fight unless we had to. Well I have to. Samantha wants to batter the crap out of me to get my boots and she likes to fight filthy. She moves towards me swearing, arms and fists at the ready. I put my head down and batter her in the chest and I can hear the wind being knocked out of her as I watch her crumple to the ground. Silly cow, did she think she’d get those boots off me?
Environment vs Hormones (an eco fairy tale)
“Put down the aubergine and step away from the till,” came the manager’s voice as he turned to a colleague and instructed them to call 999.
Something had snapped in Kirsty’s head whilst she queued at the checkout. Maybe it was rushing Tom out of the door, carrying his filthy damp sports kit that he should have put in the washing basket last week, or failing to reflect on the need to empty and move the cat tray to a sensible place before it gets kicked across the kitchen floor, spreading ‘grit ‘n’ shit’ everywhere for the upteenth time this week. Whatever it was, something just snapped when the check-out girl said, “I’ll have to charge you for the plastic bags.”
In her mind, Kirsty saw the overspill of carriers that she would forcefully crumple (after every shopping trip), into the kitchen drawer, slamming it shut before it exploded like a multicoloured Jack-in-the-box. She could feel the rage building… “If you don’t give me that bag, free of charge, I’m going to batter the living daylights out of you with this eggplant, bitch!”
Val E. Erm